Meditation

I suppose since I am posting this after the deadline there is no credit involved, however I feel that I should post regardless because it is the right thing to do.

Before reading this 30 paged article, I had been studying a lot of Buddhist history, ideas, boddhisatvas, etc., for a project on the Bodhidharma. This was not the first exposure I’ve had to buddhism, however I forgot, or something similar to forgetfulness, the benefits and drive for mindfulness which I had become invested in some time ago. Following a stressful 24 hours this was exactly the change/reminder I need(ed) to restart myself into more satisfying/gratifying headspace.

The walk I took was difficult. I was losing my balance, literally and mentally, more often than taking a step I was falling, supporting myself by the walls of my hallway. I recognize the symbolism in this. After some time, I realized that the thoughts I was having were simple, very simple, and soon  resigned to allowing them to pass through without analyzing their context or origin. Then, as I noted each action my mind and body took, I began to recognize that they were ordering themselves into neater/less hectic/more organized patterns. Eventually, I was able to recognize only one at a time, and soon became objective in my recognition and labelling of them. I feel now, even hours after the walk, more sturdy minded and present than I have in a long time. Of course, this I that I speak of must be analyzed, broken down, and eventually filed away, just as my other categorical thoughts have been done, but for now I refer to myself as existing, despite it being the cause of my dukkha. 

Further into the walk I began to experience thoughtless mindfulness, occasionally stopping to recognize a passing memory, but overall feeling much more in touch and aware with the physical reality I was experiencing. In this walking meditation, I realized that my reality is often blurred and/or ignored by thoughts which are analogous to pinched nerves. Meditating in this way is a brain massage; in identifying, locating, labelling the knots, the muscles relax and are work more easily, without hindrances or self-awareness.

This meditation has reminded me and inspired me to continue with this feeling. It is simple, and with effort and practice and time it is easily mastered, and wholly fulfilling.